Sir David Attenborough

I grew up watching all your wildlife shows. You're an inspiration and thank you for going to Madagascar

Competitions

are shit. I never win.

I mean I know they say lucky in the game unlucky in love, but sometimes I NEED that flat screen tv with incorporated dvd and blue ray player with surround sound and internet capabilities.

Zoe

Calm your Sushi obsessions down, child. Ever heard of the tuna crisis in Japan.

Love you, your weird fascination with hearts and your meatballs...yeah the ones you said gave you a tummy ache.

Nash

Your new shoes are music to my ears...literally. Love your work.

And if anyone wants to try it at home here's how

1. Dismantle the amp and speakers


2. Meticulously take apart the control panel, switches, nodules and input sockets (checking at each stage to make sure things still worked - and solving any problems)

3. Mark on the sneakers where I was going to cut out the holes for the speaker cones, and then very carefully cut out using a scalpel

4. Gut the inside of the sole unit to fit the amp and mark the outside of the midsole to fit all the volume controls and LED (again making sure all was still working)

5. Mark and cut out the holes for the on/off switch and the audio input/output sockets

6. Design the wooden stands, cut them out, sand, clean, varnish and assemble them

7. Attach the sneakers and run the power cables through the stands

8. Fit the speakers and rig all the wires with a soldering iron and heat seal shrink rubber tubing (of which there were about 30 soldered joints)

9. Make bespoke phono cables, as standard cables are just black

10. Add a small plaque, depicting what does what on the sneaker control panel

Black Mamba

If I wear Air Jordans will it mean that I'll be as cool a Kobe?

Shucks I sure do hope so mom.

I love you Kobe- even if you cheated on your wife and are probably gay.

Bieber Fever

Who knows how long it'll be around for. I know I have it. My mum has it even my dog has it.

I swear he even knows the words to 'Somebody to Love'. He howls it whenever there's a full moon

LFW

Boy am I glad that I have NOTHING to do with this bi-yearly bitch fest.

Yes, even Ellie Goulding attended. Feel special now?

Hey Ellie- why the long face? Oh wait that IS your face.

Even ducks have sex

And if you live above a canal with horny geese you can bid adieu to peaceful sleeping.

There's not many ducks I could watch mate except maybe these two.

Best Album Intro

That's what So Solid's 'They don't Know' has.

Still relevant in 2011.

SDA

Thanks for the shits and giggles ladies.

Josephine aka amazingly-talented-artist-who-will-rule-the-world-with-her-bangingness and has also designed the awards for Gilles Peterson's WW Awards amongst other things, your food was banging.

I beg you cook for me always.

My boyfriend the Douche

He's going to Bali to surf in May for two weeks.

This means two things:
1) party time is on like donkey kong
2) he will come back missing a leg; it having been chewed off by a shark.

In the first instance, I'll be getting some and in the second instance he'll be getting none.

Have fun in Bali, Pascal.

100 Club

Converse are killing it at the moment. Mind you it's about time a global ifestyle brand grew some balls.

They've unravelled their phase 2 music strategy with 'connectivity' at its heart and paired unlikely musicians, Paloma and The Coral, up to create beatiful melodies.

Now, they've taking a step further and are involved in sponsoring iconic music venues albeit for a good cause. First up, it's the 100 Club whose owners couldn't keep up the rental payments; the club's future was looking aeriously bleak until the brand stepped in proving that brands can also be used for a greater good.

And as I'm a dab hand at photoshop, thought you'd appreciate my handywork below.

Chiddy Bang

My brothers from two other mothers.

Adele

No wonder she's number one in 17 countries and this track is Number one on i-tunes.

Meat

I love it.

Pork, lamb,veal, beef, rib eye, fillet. Feed me meat, coleslaw and BBQ sauce and I'll be yours forevs.

Meat is what porn is to sex addicts and Bodeans is my Stringfellows.

Pls note that too much meat consumption is damaging to your health.

Tyler The Creator

Would I sound like a dick if I said I didn't get it?

I mean I do get it but I don't like it. I only like things with pink ribbons, lollipops and rainbows.

Killer rhymes though...anyone who can 'stab Bruno Mars in the goddamn oesophagus until the cops come in' and make it rhyme has got to have talent.

Thanks, Tyler, for also making cockroach eating appealing. Off I go to bake a cake.

Brits

I'll just be echoing whatever you've already read elsewhere.

But Adele was amazing! Brought the house down and Plan B is a G.

Pic above for purely for gratuitous purposes.

Madonna vs Gaga

Can you even tell the difference?

No, thought not.

Hearts

Everywhere....even in music.

Check this beautiful melodie out. Courtesy of Young Turks (and Juno)

 

I want their heart shaped vynil too!

Large Up

is an awesome music site where you can listen, read and find out everything there is to know about Jamaica and the Caribbean; and the influence it has in the world.

http://largeup.okayplayer.com/

Sunday Brunch

is my favourite meal of the week.

It's when you can eat, hang and catch up with your friends and still have sunday dinner to look forward to.
Today's pick was the Hoxton Grill cos Bistrotheque was apps fully booked, tomorrow being Val's Day.

I mean...I didn't really want to eat there anyway.

Wonderland

So last night's party was held at Le Brompton club in South Ken- which was a mish to get to but totally worth it thanks to the free flowing alcohol.

Shaniqwa aka ass banging photographer aka Sheeks always Wins aka ther person whose blog I bite, stylist extraordinare Shirley Amartey  and Sheeks' buddy Lucien also came for the pimp ride and the-all-up-in-our- face alcohol fest.

Pics from the event will NOT be shared, ever.

(Picture is courtesy of Angelo Basque)

Rye Rye

has finally dropped it.

Like Uffie, she released a banger of a tune, got preggers, disappeared off the face of the earth, gave birth and finally released 'her long awaited' post-labour mixtape.

Download the shower of shit here

I love Rye Rye but I'm not sure that the sound of foxes having sex is good music? I mean if it were used to torture badly bahaved dogs then it would SOOO work but I'm assuming it's aimed at human ears so for the love of G.O.D W.T.F are you doing.

East London

Why do I get the feeling that the people who made this track are the real dickheads?

Irony

is what happens when you can't really get to grips with sarcasm and italians and frenchies suck at it. FACT.

I tried to find images that illustrated the main differences between the two, but got side tracked by this image...I don't really know what to make of it but I do know I had to change my underwear, twice, then I realised it was laundry day. Don't mess with humour on laundry days, ever.

Heat

Is the Boiler's Room's middle name and sweat is it's little brother.

This night/ event has been going for a little under a year and already its format is smashing content and music boundaries.

Lock in or Lock out every Tuesday from 8pm to 11pm online or @ The Pattern Cutting Market on Kingsland Road

Constructive Criticism

Is for losers.
Don't let your parents, co-workers, teachers or even bosses tell you otherwise. I mean what have they ever achieved?
My dad looks like Fritzel so unless I'm thinking about locking my 5 year old child up I won't be going to him for advice. Love you all the same daddy.

Note for the cops: I DO NO T have kids nor do I own a cellar.

Jade

You and your face make me laugh. When I say face I mean your talk.

Do stand up comedy and I swear I'll laugh at every joke.

In case you're wondering, Jade's a girl. She's not married to Emma Bunton nor was she in Another Level.

Nabil= Badman

I'm not one to give props but when props are due, they're due.

Check out this man's website

When I wake up

I'm convinced I look like this

But soon reality sets in

Inbetweeners

I can't wait for their film to come out. Apps they're filming it now for a late 2011 release.

In the meantime...

Vybz snorts his Kartel

No comment needed, but here's what he had to say:

“I’m my own man, and as such I do my own thing. When black women stop straightening their hair and wearing wigs and weaves, when white women stop getting lip and butt injections and implants, when bald men stop getting hair transplants, and when people stop getting nose jobs and cosmetic surgery then I’ll stop using the ‘cakesoap’ and we’ll all live naturally ever after. Until then F**k you all.”