1) people who smile
2) people who kiss i public. get a bloody room you dirty gyppos
3) people with bad breath, Wrigley's are NOT expensive
4) people who don't get sarcasm. you cunts (and that WASN'T sarcasm)
5) people who are tanned. Watch out for us really transluscent almost vampire white people. Showing off is a character flaw
6) people who make the Sunday Times Rich List. I can barely afford my rent
7) pandas. Cos they're near;y extinct. I mean get over it already and choke yourseleves with a bamboo stick already
8) heart attacks, especially when they happen in the VIP area at Glasto. I mean is no area sacred
9) pringles. Cos once I pop I really can't stop. In fact, I'm stilll going
10) mud cos it looks like shit and when you have a 'mud' fight you never really know what's being thrown at you.
11) jumping in at the deep end. I can't swim.
12) bungee jumping. £150 to jump off a bridge with an elastic. mate I can do a make shift scrunchy for £2.
13) diapers. they're called nappy you fucking twanks.
14) weed cos it makes me rant like this and then I pass out.
Speaking of which ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz