Things I don't like

1) people who smile
2) people who kiss i public. get a bloody room you dirty gyppos
3) people with bad breath, Wrigley's are NOT expensive
4) people who don't get sarcasm. you cunts (and that WASN'T sarcasm)
5) people who are tanned. Watch out for us really transluscent almost vampire white people. Showing off is a character flaw
6) people who make the Sunday Times Rich List. I can barely afford my rent
7) pandas. Cos they're near;y extinct. I mean get over it already and choke yourseleves with a bamboo stick already
8) heart attacks, especially when they happen in the VIP area at Glasto. I mean is no area sacred
9) pringles. Cos once I pop I really can't stop. In fact, I'm stilll going
10) mud cos it looks like shit and when you have a 'mud' fight you never really know what's being thrown at you.
11) jumping in at the deep end. I can't swim.
12) bungee jumping. £150 to jump off a bridge with an elastic. mate I can do a make shift scrunchy for £2.
13) diapers. they're called nappy you fucking twanks.
14) weed cos it makes me rant like this and then I pass out.

Speaking of which ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz

Piles

For those French speakers out there I don't mean batteries I mean actual ass hanging 'roids. The ones that, girls, when you wear tight trousers or get ass effed really really hurt.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this because I don't have them but have any of you out there had them from shitting too much after a night of booze fuelled drinking?

I would rather kill myself

Thanks listen to you again... Go shower your Champagne on someone else. And that outfit didn't lok good in the last song Redfoo(l). Go LYFAO at yourself

 

Italy

The land of the pizza, pasta and Dolce & Gabbana ads. AND the Italian team...

Totally gratuitous and sleazetastic but God bless these Fratelli D'Italia

Things I hate

Top spot goes to hayfever cos it's so useless and snotty.

Second spot goes to sweaty people who don't wash and/ or dopn't wear deodorant. THIS IS THE FUCKING 21ST CENTURY AND DEO AIN'T EXPENSIVE.

And third spot goes to...drum roll pls...tourist who stand in your way especially when it's a) raining, b) you have no umbrella and c) a car is driving straight for you.

Moving

Is the biggest ball ache known to man.

East London is overrated flat wise and living by the canal in summer sucks. Goddamn blue bottle flies! Or are they trying to tell me something?

Relationships

If only they were this simple...

And this was before Arnie himself become a lying cheating scumbag. Take that guvnor

Tom Boy

Should be my middle name. As it isn't, to make myself feel better I read this blog daily.

Amazing style guides, insights and pictures of women with awesome style.

Band

Will always love your stuff, Beirut. The original folk troupe whose music always paint such a vivid picture.

Oh Sheet

 Tracey Emin eat you're heart out, I'm from the 21st Century.

 

Speaking of Trace, go check her out at the Hayward. Apps her tapestry work is rather snazzy.

Fierce

Corn Rows

Should be banned on most people BUT most of all white girls. I used to have some- they lasted a day cos I was scratching my head like a mangy dog.

I was one back then.

Oh and don't google image mangy dog with corn rows cos this is what you get...kinda get it but kinda don't

Pipe

Deekline I would smoke any of your tunes.